I'm not sure tomorrow is going to happen. This morning Mark told me he couldn't make it because his wife would be home afterall. I wasn't even angry or upset, or really even disappointed. It was more like an empty feeling, sort of like hopelessness. I asked him couldn't he tell her he was going out and he said yes but he couldn't be gone for the few hours as we had planned. I asked him to please tell her something so he could get away for the day and he said he'd figure something out. It's kind of interesting to know I can still make a man do what I want sometimes. So he told me he'd e-mail me but it's 7:30 and I haven't heard from him. I know there is still time but I really expected to hear from him already. Now I wonder if something happened or he changed his mind or if he just was pacifying me this morning and isn't really planning on getting together. I wish I could find an available Dom that I want and he wants me and our interests are the same. With Mark it was so easy. We were friends and everything else grew from that. But unfortunately he isn't single and even if he was I doubt he would want a serious relationship with me. Well I hope I hear from him soon, though now I am almost out of the mood and probably won't be the sub I aim to be tomorrow. :-(

8:22PM
I just checked my mail and Mark had written that tomorrow can happen. Sometimes he makes me so happy...I just feel like giving a big hug and kissing him over and over again...kind of like how you see lovers that have been separated for awhile do at airports and the like. *S* It's just very hard to be with someone who "belongs" to someone else. *sigh*