Floggers....and Paddles....and Whips....
OH MY!!!

A Science Project

Now that you've made the decision, actually getting started may be a daunting undertaking.   Having problems deciding what to do, how to do it? (there's a great temptation to do it all I know!) Perhaps you need just need a bit of structure to get you going.  Below is what we did the first few times. You don't have to use all the elements included here but we think this will give you a good time table and point out some of the areas you might need to consider.

A.  Make a date with your partner.  Get out the calendar and choose an evening when you know nothing else is going on and make a date. (you remember dating don't you?)  Write it down so you don't forget and make sure you don't schedule anything else for that time. (Make sure that your employer knows you WILL NOT work overtime that evening!)

B.  Choose a location.  Will this special evening be at home or a hotel room?  If you choose to rent a room, make reservations as soon as possible.

C.  About two weeks ahead of time, arrange for the children to be cared for. Will a family member or friend take them for the evening?  Will you have a sitter come to the house? Will the sitter stay overnight? Discuss and choose the best options for you.

D.  Now its time to get down to brass tacks.  Discuss what each of you would like to try for the first time.  It's probably best to limit your choices to two (maybe three) activities you've never done before.  Maybe you've never been spanked and would really like to explore that or perhaps your partner would like you to wear a blindfold. 

Your conversation might go something like this:

He:  I'd really like to try tying you to the bedposts, some spanking and maybe a gag.

She:  Well, the tying and the spanking sound exciting, but I don't think I'm ready for a gag yet. The idea of that still scares me. Could we try out that new vibrator we bought?

He:  No gag?  How about a blindfold, would that be ok? And yes, I think I can find some use for that vibrator.  <evil grin>

She: <blush> The blindfold is fine, I don't have a problem with it all Do we have fresh batteries?

What just took place is called negotiation, and it happens with some variations, in virtually every scene.  The participants came together and decide what they were and were not willing to do.  Remember the word consensual?  This is what its all about.  Without her consent to use a gag, he would have been violating the consensual aspect of SSC.  Negotiation is needed for each person to be clear about what their expectations are. 

E.  About a week a head of time collect the supplies you will need.  Are you going to use a flogger?  Do you need lubricant?  What about rope?  Assemble these items and stash them somewhere secure but handy.  As an added bit of excitement you might want to tell you partner what kinds of activities will take place the on night in question.  Whisper in their ear that you intend to spank their backside till its nice and rosy.  Mention in passing (perhaps on the way to the grocery store) that you intend to tie them up and make them whimper. Tell them your going to drag that flogger backside and make them squirm. These are called "mind games" and REALLY add to the anticipation, you can bet it will get their minds are racing!

F.  About three days before the date, confirm the hotel or restaurant reservation (if needed) and child care. This will give you time to make alternative arrangements if needed.

G.  The day before the date, Call your spouse at work (or home) and tell them how much your looking forward to spending some time alone with them, experimenting with them and loving them (this is called romance folks!) and then relate some of the things you plan to do to or for them, <grin> Again, mind games add to the excitement.

H.  The day of the grand event, both of you should schedule some time alone to perform some personal hygiene tasks.  Shave what needs shaving, perfume what needs perfuming, maybe relax in a hot tub of water (or hot tub if your lucky enough to have one!)

I.  Perhaps you plan on starting your evening with nice dinner at your favorite restaurant.  On the way home one of you might want to say to the other: "When we get home (or to the hotel) I want you go in, take off your clothing, fold them neatly, and lay face down on the bed, do you understand?  Do you remember your safe words?"  (have him/her repeat them)

When your partner has done this <smile> don't jump right into the activities.   Spend time touching, maybe a backrub with some wonderful massage oil. Whisper to them how much you love them.  Tell them how handsome/beautiful they are (Romance again!)  You'd be surprised how a good backrub can relax and arouse at the same time.

And the rest is up to you.... remember to go slowly, touch and talk frequently,   and most of all RELAX!

J.  After your first experience, be prepared for a few tears and some powerful emotions. You've both been through a very erotic and stimulating experience.   Take time to cuddle, kiss, and hold one another. (This is called aftercare)  Talk about what felt good and what you think could have been done differently.  Let your partner share how he/she it felt when you spanked them or used the crop.  Ask if think you should have gone slower, faster, harder, softer... what ever comes to mind.  (This is called reviewing)

K.  Plan your next date!

Do you have a suggestion for your own "Adult Science Project?"  why not leave it with the guest book or contact us at swdandsun@zensearch.net
We'd love to add it here!

©copyrighted by swddancer July 1999