Floggers....and Paddles....and Whips....
OH MY!!!

Kinky.... With Kids!

One of the questions that is frequently asked of couples in the BDSM and D/s community is "How do you do it with the kids around?"

Good question. It differs for each couple and is directly related to the level they're comfortable with. Some couples restrict their exploration to the bedroom with no hint of it outside its confines.  Others are involved in a full-time Master/slave relationship.  Whatever their preference, having children can complicate the issue.  We don't profess to be the the experts and I'm sure others could offer a wider range of suggestions, but we know what works for us and offer them here.

As you know, we have three teenagers.  Three bright, articulate, inquisitive (read nosey) teenagers.  We don't have a 24/7 Master/slave relationship so most of what we do is confined to the bedroom.  Some of the things we've found very important are:

A Lock on the Bedroom Door.
For some reason our children have never quite gotten the hang of knocking before entering. I don't know why.  We've tried and tried to instill in them the thought that parents need privacy, but it seems they're allergic to the notion.  <grin> I live in quiet fear, that one day, they will open a door somewhere and get an education that no classroom could ever provide them. So, we have a lock on our bedroom door.  This has not always been the case however and we've found that one of those hook and eye arrangements (the kind you screw into the door facing) is a real lifesaver.

A Room Somewhat Distant from the Children

If you can somehow manage to have the kid's rooms at one end of the house and yours at the other more power to ya!  We had this arrangement for a while.  Our bedroom was down stairs and the children's up.  The stairs creaked and provided an early warning system too!  Unfortunately, now our home is much much smaller and our youngest son's room is less than 8 feet from the end of our bed. (notice I said end of our bed... not room!)  This close proximity tends to put a damper on some of our activities. <grin>  We live for nights that EVERYONE is gone!   If you have a similar arrangement, consider using the following: 

The Garage: It may be a bit drafty but with a couple of throw rugs or carpet it could work. Don't have room for a cross to tie your submissive to?  A couple of hooks in the walls would work.   You can always tell folks their for hanging up the kids bicycles.
The Basement:  A dungeon in the making!  Got a lot of stuff stored down there?  Shove a couple of those boxes out of the way and create a small space with a chair, spanking bench (the kind that can be folded up and put away) and maybe a hook or two in the ceiling. 
The Laundry Room:   <grin> Its not the best choice but its usually removed from the kids sleeping quarters and could be large enough for a bit of play.

A Lockable Toy Box. 
For some time my wonderful husband kept our meager toys under the bed.  This was a brilliant hiding place until a year ago when one of the said bright, articulate and inquisitive teenagers decided to seek out a suitcase that was also stored under the bed. He found the suitcase..... and the crop.  A trip to Wal-Mart and the purchase of one rather large, black plastic tool box and a lock (key type, we've found they have a remarkable ability to figure out combinations) was hastily arranged. All the toys went in, and the lock went on the box.  The box was then stored in darling husband's closet.  This worked pretty well until the youngest of the teenagers asked for a wrench one day. Dad replied that he should look in the basement.  The teenager then suggested that he (Dad) check the toolbox in the closet, because he really didn't want to go all the way down stairs.  (Did I mention that teenagers tend to be lazy?)

A Schedule 
Our kids are night owls and this creates problems at times.  Being as old and decrepit as we are, staying up half the night waiting for them to retire is not an option. Poor SunTzu has, on occasion, fallen asleep with crop in hand.  Our normal modus operandi is to find an evening when at least 2 of the 3 teenagers will be out of the house. Calendars are compared, notations are made and we plan as a general would for an upcoming battle.  Sometimes it works, the logistics come together flawlessly and we have a wonderful time.  Sometimes it doesn't; like the night not long ago that we only had one teenager at home. This one tended to sleep late and deeply.  The perfect night for a little play, or so we thought.  Imagine our discomfort when the teenager related the following morning how he had been awakened by what sounded like slapping noises and had roamed the house looking for its origin.  Thank God we were able to blame it on the noisy deep freeze downstairs.

A Weekend Away
On occasion there is no other alternative but to pack up the toys and check into a rented hotel room.  There is a trick to this though, if your staying in a hotel that is family oriented its best to ask for a room as far away from the pool as possible.  You may get some strange looks (it seems EVERYONE wants to be poolside) but at least you'll have a modicum of privacy and loud moans and cries won't disturb the neighbors. <grin>

Visits to Kinky Friends or the Occasional Play Party

Sometimes the opportunity arises for a play party at a friends home.  This is a wonderful treat for us and we can indulge ourselves without fear of waking the kids.  For some this may not be an option, they may not feel comfortable with others looking on and that's perfectly ok! (Remember, it's what YOU decide is right for you!)  Although we wouldn't feel comfortable at a large party, we are comfortable being with a small group of very dear friends.

If you have suggestions you would like included on this page for kinky parents with children, let us know, just add your comments to the guest book or contact us at swdandsun@zensearch.net and we'll be sure to add them to this page!

©copyrighted by swddancer July 1999