To me punishment is an essential component of a D/s lifestyle. Punishment is used to enforce the standards of my house, to correct failures in etiquette, but the most important aspect of punishment is that it shows that you care. Punishment should ultimately be a fulfilling act for both the Dom and the sub. When punishing ones sub A Dom must express both their displeasure and their love. Towards this end a beginning Dom needs to learn what their sub expects in the ways of punishment.

Perhaps one of the first steps is for the Dom too let go of their prejudices towards punishment. Such prejudices would likely take one of two forms. Either towards certain punishments that one has fantasized about or against those causing pains to a loved one. In the first case a Dom will tend towards achieving a fantasy life which their partner may not enjoy.

The best cure (and easier said than done) is to eagerly experiment with new forms and techniques of punishment. For the later case the new Dom must work themselves into the role, learning that some pains are acceptable, and that a sub not only anticipates the pain but expects it. All Doms must understand that pain (sweat or not) is an integral part of the relationship, and that the sub will need it in order to learn and grow in the relationship.

When working with a new sub the Dom must take the time to learn about their sub. The relationship is built on trust and communication therefore the Dom must trust their sub to use stop and slow words to communicate a negative reaction to what they are doing. Rules and expected behavior should be clearly communicated between Dom and sub to avoid any confusion. Only then can punishments be justly applied to the sub. After the sub has offended it is the Doms responsibility to make sure the punishment is suitable for the offense.

It is important to remember that you are the Dom, and your word is law. Your sub expects you to take firm care of her and not let her stray. Your sub expects you to enforce your rules consistently and with little exception. Most importantly though, To be a Dom means that you are entrusted with the care of your sub. your sub trusts you to make them better. Better spiritually, emotionally, and physically. You must be the center to her world and use punishment to ensure that she never loses her course and remains devoted and attentive to your bond.