General BDSM Resources

A lot of BDSM relationships come from meeting on-line. I converse a lot online and once did meet someone who was my on-line Master. I see a lot of good and bad come out of on-line relationships. Love happens everywhere.

Here are some simple tips to remember when going on that great cyber expressway and talking to people within BDSM.

On-line chat rooms

A lot of people meet on IRC or other chat rooms such as AOL ones. There is some tricky etiquette to IRC chat rooms. Some of it most people who practice BDSM real-time find pretty silly.

Doms names are capitalized and subs are lowercase - This is a pretty easy one and one that actually makes sense. Just to tell people apart.

lily{LK} means lily is collared by Lord Koi - whether or not this transfers to real-life is really this persons choice. You will also see lily[LK] or even some Masters who do LordKoi{lily} to show who they own. Some subs also have lily`LK showing that they are under the protection of that Sir or Domme

Most channels on IRC respond to the command !rules - Bots in the channel know when a person types !rules and will message you the rules in the channel. Be very cautious of the rules, if you don't like them then leave :)

If you are a sub or a Dom be nice and curteous - Rare subs want to get a message that says "Hi slut wench". Just like Doms expect a little respect.

Addressing a Dom as Sir or Ma'am is usually expected - In the real world as you might agree I think people earn respect. On IRC Doms expect respect. It's just an on-line way of being curteous

Do not be a Horny Net Geek - This is true for subs and Doms. You want sex? Great! But, please don't message everyone in the channel for it, or even ask on channel for sex. It's called trolling and it's very unattractive.

Be safe and cautious - People are not always nice and giving out any personal information is not good. If people ask where you live, only give a state. If people ask your real name only give them a psyedonm or your first name. Be very cautious. Masters who push wanting personal information, SHOULDN'T.

Collars are beautiful and precious so be careful with them - Doms and subs should be very wary when accepting a collar. Most people consider collars for a lifetime or atleast as long as their contract states. A quickly given collar with little behind it makes it a weak collar.

Mailing lists

Always read the description and rules of a mailing list before joining - Some mailing lists with bdsm overtones may be just for picture trading and "trolling" some are for serious discussion only about a certain topic such as AbsoluteBDSM's topic of absolute slavery.

Pick one suited to your needs - A good discussion mailing list talks topics with knowledge people. Friendly discussion and expierenced people and newbies make a good mix.

Differing ideas makes a place interesting - Whether or not you hate someone's ideas you should agree to disagree. A good moderator will weed out someone who causes TOO many problems :)

Discussion lists usually don't accept trolling - Trolling is simply advertising if you are interested in finding a partner, and discussion lists with their often large volume of mail already is not happy to use the delete button for something else.

Newsgroups

Newsgroups are a lot like mailing lists - They usually accept trolling, but are discussion minded lists

College accounts or other unanonymous accounts are not good to use - When someone can track you down from your college account or buisness account and you have been on alt.bondage.torture it doesn't look good.

ICQ and AOL Instant Messanger

Remember to keep a low profile - ICQ if you state it, people can see where you work and your home adress. It is best to keep a seperate address.

Be friendly. not a troller - So you find someone with your interests? GREAT! Be friendly not overhorny and flirtaeous :) Mystery even in a D/s situation is still an attractive quality.

Some final notes

Be safe sane and consensual
Be friendly
Have fun ;)

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